Questions

I find that often times my mind is a whirlwind of questions. Wonderings of what could have been and what will be swirling through my brain. I know that I am not unique in my condition. As I have been working my way through "The Rock That is Higher" by Madeleine L'Engle she reminds me constantly that I am a finite being living in a story authored by an infinite God. So of course I will spend much time wrestling with not knowing.

As I have read, these words jumped off the page, "Life is full of questions, and we are free to ask them, to understand, occasionally, that we are not going to get an answer or at least not the answer we expect, and then we are called to move on. But I believe that God encourages us to ask questions." It is in the call to move on that I find the most difficulty. Instead I am a master of holding on and letting my questions pave the way to more questions. This can be so dangerous. I find that my questions pull me away from the here and now and cause me to live in the unchangeable past or the unknown future. I can't help but wonder what I have missed in my life because I was not fully present in that moment. There I go, asking another question.

L'Engle goes on later to say, "But whatever our experience is, God is there, in it with us, as God was in the fiery furnace with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. That isn't really an answer, but it's all we're going to get, and it's enough." I love how frank Madeleine can be. There is one common theme that is present when I look at the Bible, the history of the world, and the history of my own life. God is there...authoring, ochestrating. When I don't know the answers it doesn't matter. I need only trust that God is there by my side, leading me to what comes next.

Rainer Maria Rilke says it like this, "...I want to beg you...to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to love the questions themselves.... Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."

Could it be that there is more to be learned from the asking of a question than in the receiving of the answer?

Summer Reading

This weekend I finish up the book "Many Waters" by Madeliene L'Engle, the final book in the Time Quartet. It was a beautiful story that I have taken much truth from and thoughts continue to come to mind as I think back on the story. And after coming off of such an enjoyable read I feel inspired to think ahead to what books I would like to read this summer.

I think one book that I will read is David James Duncan's "The Brothers K." My friend Amy is always recommending it and considering that baseball is a major theme of the book it seems like an appropriate read for the summer. I think I will also make some room for more of L'Engle's work, after all she is my favorite author. "The Rock That Is Higher" by L'Engle was recently recommended to me by another friend and sounds like a great work of non-fiction to help spark creativity. And I am sure that I will find some poetry to mix in with the rest.

Summer is one of my favorite times for reading. A lot of people might think that is strange. But I love grabbing a good book and heading to the park or my favorite cafe to sit in the sun and get lost in a good story. Something about the summer sun helps be to slow down enough to really enjoy a good read. Perhaps it is the longer hours of daylight. With more hours in the day I feel less guilty about spending a few hours with my nose in a book.

I hope that everyone else has some great books that you are looking forward to jumping into this summer. I'd love to hear any recommendation you all have.