Transformation is a tricky thing. I long desperately for it, yet somehow when I begin to feel it taking place I cringe and seem to pull away. How can this be so?
Saturday night I witnessed another man wrestle with this same thing. I attended a performance of A Christmas Carol at the Act Theatre. It was a marvelous perfomance and each of the players did an amazing job. And for 90 minutes I watched as Ebenizer Scrooge wrestled with his own transformation.
I found myself identifying with Scrooge in many ways. His life had been filled with heartache, dissapointment and bad choices. Somehow in the midst of all that hurt he decided it would be best not to feel anymore. He hardened his heart and kept out all those around him that longed to show him grace and love. It took 4 ghosts and a trip through time and space to tear down the walls that had entombed his soul. In the end Scrooge sees that to risk heartache, dissapointment, and bad choices is the only way to find true joy and life.
I loved the transformed Scrooge. He was so undignified, so wreckless and carefree. He danced and shouted in the street. The years of holding everything back were replaced with an explosion of joy and generosity.
On the whole I am no "Scrooge", but I have my moments. Lately I have found myself apathetic to the world around me, somehow unable to care or feel much for anything. A condition I fear, if left unchecked, will turn into full blown Scrooge-like behavior. So I must search for transformation. In spite of the terrifying "ghosts" that I might have to face up to I must open my arms to welcome transformation. That's the thing with transformation, it isn't easy or comfortable, but it is the only way to make our broken lives whole again.
It will take a miracle to transform me into what I am truly meant to be but this is the season for miracles, isn't it? This is the time when God sent his Son from heaven to live on earth among us. The most precious gift of a Savior to walk beside us and help us be transformed by His love and grace. A Savior who came to show us how to be made new, made whole.
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1 comment:
beautiful, bree. i love how you said that scrooge was undignified, and carefree. wreckless with joy. i think i am often afraid to be wreckless with joy, with love...and am right there with you, hoping for christ to transform me during this season. may my heart attend to his voice of love. i'm glad you're back. these words and thoughts of yours are so good. have a good week, friend.
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