In the last month or so many friends have been revealing happy new developments in life. This Saturday I was part of a surprise engagement party for my friends Suzie and Jeremy (Jeremy proposed earlier in the evening and surprised Suzie with a celebration with our friends). My friend, Sandra, from SPU days recently shared the news that she is now engaged. My dear friend Kristen recently announced that she is pregnant, while my friend Nicole is getting ready to welcome her new baby girl into the world next month. Then this coming Saturday I will be attending the wedding of another college friend Janelle. And then at the end of March my dear friends Audrey and Dan will be tying the knot too.
While I am overjoyed by the happiness so many friends are finding these days I can't help but feel an ache in my own heart. Marriage, starting a family...these are things that I so long to have some day in my life. Over the past several years, as I have really started growing into my adult skin, I realize more and more that these longings are woven deep in the fabric of who I am. How strange it is that God should allow us to long so deeply for things that seem so out of reach.
More often than not I feel content to live the life that I have been given and to find joy in the current state of things. But every now and then that little ache in my heart acts up. I begin to wonder when it will be my turn to see my longings fulfilled. While it can be easy to give in and let that ache grow and overcome me I wish instead to find hope in it. I want that ache to push be to recognize that our lives are ever unfolding, always changing. I want to look back and see the proof of longings fulfilled in my life and know that the pattern will continue on.
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2 comments:
Ditto! You said it much more poetically though... :) Pretty much all year I have felt like everyone else around me is married, engaged, getting engaged, or otherwise finding true love. When is it my turn?
Julia
This is very poignant, Bree--thank you for sharing so much of yourself & your deepest longings.
As my wonderful co-worker always reminds me...pray for your heart's desires. God loves to bless us & encourages us to bring our desires to Him. It's so easy for me to write that, but then also realize that it's often very difficult to find comfort & peace while waiting (believe me, I know, as the job of my desire has seemed to be sitting just out of reach for years now).
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